just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
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Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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