The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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