Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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