I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
