Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize