sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
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I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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