Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize