You can't special order awesome
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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