you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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