We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish