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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  either way. win, win.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (510): View more from California

  You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  remember, YOU ARE A WINNER

  (410): View more from Maryland

  my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (909): View more from California

  I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!

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• (+58): View more from

  James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.

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• (415): View more from California

  Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice

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