Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone

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  (404): i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone http://tfl.nu/jdpw
  Replies (44) Good night (3063) Bad night (650)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.

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  (720): I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice. http://tfl.nu/dx9d
  Replies (16) Good night (4326) Bad night (750)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk

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  (845): Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk http://tfl.nu/am6s
  Replies (40) Good night (5332) Bad night (1185)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game

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  (240): We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game http://tfl.nu/lfk3
  Replies (8) Good night (882) Bad night (6522)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.

  (786): View more from Florida

  How high are you right now..

  (305): View more from Florida

  I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.

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  (305): Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind. (786): How high are you right now.. (305): I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT. http://tfl.nu/q5i7
  Replies (29) Good night (10596) Bad night (1335)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.

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  (219): I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives. http://tfl.nu/v9m4
  Replies (11) Good night (7917) Bad night (1446)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.

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  (703): The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe. http://tfl.nu/6izf
  Replies (17) Good night (4337) Bad night (1094)
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  (310): View more from California

  My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.

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  (310): My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute. http://tfl.nu/0bii
  Replies (6) Good night (2912) Bad night (1134)
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  (714): View more from California

  I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going

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  (714): I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going http://tfl.nu/ebwx
  Replies (6) Good night (1118) Bad night (2726)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.

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  (407): Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless. http://tfl.nu/zvko
  Replies (5) Good night (1611) Bad night (903)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".

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  (301): He said it. He actually said "yes it's in". http://tfl.nu/w699
  Replies (7) Good night (689) Bad night (2233)
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  (619): View more from California

  Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"

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  (619): Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?" http://tfl.nu/fe0d
  Replies (10) Good night (2025) Bad night (649)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology

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  (717): im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology http://tfl.nu/f7q0
  Replies (6) Good night (821) Bad night (315)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's

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  (512): This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's http://tfl.nu/e5h3
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (331)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over

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  (269): My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over http://tfl.nu/ujfd
  Replies (0) Good night (266) Bad night (156)

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