can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice