i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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