YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize