So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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