I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
