love makes seman taste better
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
