It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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