matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
