Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
