Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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