apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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