O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
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I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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