she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize