Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
