He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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