My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
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My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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