I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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