dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
