I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i would punch a child for taco bell
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
