Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Use "feeling words"
Yay
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize