O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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