your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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