its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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