It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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