The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize