i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
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He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.