I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST