Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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