Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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