I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
