This is not my ceiling
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
