SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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