Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
