omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You were trust falling into bushes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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