Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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