it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
