it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
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Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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