I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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