apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize