I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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