Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
