that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
