Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
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you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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