Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
